Thursday, April 24, 2008
Dedicated to Suituapui
PERKS OF BEING OVER 60 or, if you're not over 60, this is what you have to look forward to .
1 . Kidnappers are not very interested in you .
2 . In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first .
3 . No one expects you to run--anywhere .
4 . People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you???"
5 . People no longer view you as a hypochondriac .
6 . There is nothing left to learn the hard way .
7 . Things you buy now won't wear out .
8 . You can eat dinner at 4 PM .
9 . You can live without sex but not your glasses .
10 . You get into heated arguments about pension plans .
11 . You no longer think of speed limits as challenge .
12 . You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room .
13 . You sing along with elevator music .
14 . Your eyes won't get much worse .
15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off
16 . Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service .
17 . Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either .
18 . Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size .
19 . You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience
1 . Kidnappers are not very interested in you .
2 . In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first .
3 . No one expects you to run--anywhere .
4 . People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you???"
5 . People no longer view you as a hypochondriac .
6 . There is nothing left to learn the hard way .
7 . Things you buy now won't wear out .
8 . You can eat dinner at 4 PM .
9 . You can live without sex but not your glasses .
10 . You get into heated arguments about pension plans .
11 . You no longer think of speed limits as challenge .
12 . You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room .
13 . You sing along with elevator music .
14 . Your eyes won't get much worse .
15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off
16 . Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service .
17 . Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either .
18 . Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size .
19 . You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Traffic Question
.
Traffic Question
Traffic Question
Most men will get this right!
Q: You are driving along a narrow two lane road with a NO PASSING sign posted, and you come upon a bicycle rider. Do you:
(a) Follow this slow-moving bicycle rider for the next 2 miles, or
(b) Do you break the law and pass?
Which is the correct choice? Scroll down ............
A: Why take unnecessary risks and get a ticket?
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Wine vs Water
.
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
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