Monday, February 13, 2006

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Flowers blossom in spring greets the arrival of the migratory swallows….
Diu..sounds more like a Lin Chin Hsia and Chin Han love story from decades ago.

Ok, I shall share with you people out a wonderful love story (kisah benar) this Valentine involving one of my subordinates because I had a hand in it. For simplicity, I shall call him Chin Han and the girl of his dreams, Lin Chin Hsia.

Chin Han was a young engineer recruited from KL and banished to JB 2 years ago. Maintaining a long distance courtship is never easy, and Chin Han would only go back to woo the girl of his dreams on certain weekends whenever he is not traveling as the job requires. To make matter worse, all his childhood mates and ‘chee pang kau yau’ were also in KL, and that adds to his loneliness.
Some of us romantic fools might still think that the old adage, “absence makes the heart grows fonder” still holds true, but believe me these days, in our fast paced world, your prospective girl would think otherwise…. more like “Out of sight, out of mind” if you are constantly not around.

Anyway, after some months, I noticed that Chin Han lost the fire and the drive to work. Having a chat with him over some drinks, he confided that he got wind from his buddies that Lin Chin Hsia is seeing someone else. He felt that he needs to declare his love soon or else he would loose her forever. Since it was nearing Valentine’s Day, Chin Han thought it would be a good chance to do so on the day itself and so he called to arrange for the date. His world came crumbling down when she declined, saying that someone has already invited her out to dinner on the 14th. What now? All of us in the office felt sorry for this love-sick cow and we tried comforting him. “Aiyah…not only one fish in the sea mah… This one got away catch another one lor. Eh, our office wan also not bad hai mai?” (Actually, our office gurls damn cheh kai wan but can make good wives lah. See, nature compensates itself, but that’s another story)

Then it dawned on me to ask him to fix the dinner date with Lin Chin Hsia on the 13th Feb instead.
“Huh? Why one day early ah?,” he asked.

“Look, you take her out on the 13th which is the eve of Valentine’s Day, right? Anyway, on the last minute it’s too late to book a table for any romantic candle light dinner on the 14th already. Moreover, that night so blardy crowded where got romantic, right? So, you go on the eve where the restaurants are not so crowded”- I explained

“Where do you suggest I take her ah?”- Chin Han asked.

“Try Tamarind Springs in Ampang, near the Flamingo Hotel. It has a very romantic setting, but be prepared to spend money. After dinner you can jalan-jalan at the park outside the restaurant there”, sounding like a ‘chau see’ expert.

“Then what?”- he asked.

Me: “During dinner, that’s the time to catch up on lost time with chit-chat and acknowledge the fact that you’ve been neglecting her, but don’t declare anything yet. Otherwise, if she don’t accept, both of you meen jor-jor, cannot eat wan. Eat already also kena indigestion. Go for a movie or a walk, to try to rekindle that flame subtly in a more relaxed approach. Then after the stroke of midnight (Feb 14th) tell her how you feel about her and that you would like to bring your relationship with her to another level. See, this way, you beat your competitor to her heart and if she really feels the same, she would cancel her dinner plans with him.”…..as I was imparting some principles of Sun Tze Art of War stratagem. “Know your terrains, know your enemies. Half the battle is won.”

“Wah…ya hor. I think this plan can work leh”, Chin Han said beaming with confidence.

“Eh, don’t forget to kiss her leh”, I reminded. “but don’t raba-raba. Treat her with respect”.

All of us felt that this was the best “one last shot” strategy for him and he should go for it. After all, he has nothing to loose. He called and told her about the dinner plans and she accepted. We were happy for him as we felt that the first stage is already going as planned. The girls in the office even helped to pick out the gift wrap paper for the Valentine gift and helped in the nitty-gritty kay-poh stuff.

Come 13th, he happily took half day leave and drove to KL for the occasion. As Murphy’s Law would prevail Chin Han’s car broke down somewhere along the north-south highway. This farker got an important mission and he overlooked the health of his car! Niamah.!!! We knew he blew his chances already. Habis! Wan Yeen, Moe tuck gau! (Finish! Game Over! cannot help already)
Not only that he missed dinner, he arrived KL at 11.00 pm that night after repairing the car. What we heard after that was rather surprising. Lin Chin Hsia actually waited at home patiently for him and he showed up sweaty and greasy hands at her door. Earlier he had called to explain his situation and to cancel dinner. Nevertheless, she went out with him that night for supper and he did the needful. She accepted his proposal and we felt a resounding, triumphant success for our effort. It was truly elating. Perhaps, she saw the trouble he went thru’ to declare his love.

He has since resigned from our company to work in KL so that he could be close to her.
We wish him luck, for I know I have to let him go. The power of the pussy can put nations to war, remember? Thomas if you are reading this, you owe me a bottle of Cordon Bleu when your big day comes!!

One last thing, on Valentine’s Day a lot of buggers, bloggers like to host lovey-dovey love songs on their blogs. Me? Naw….just a word of advice, don’t go screwing your date/spouse 10 times as what this song is all about. Let it load and enjoy the lyrics.

As for those who don't have a date click here for some recommended activities.

To those who are madly in love, here's a word of advice. Don't be like the cantonese saying,
"Wai hai sei
Wai hai mong
wai hai chor kam fong!"

Translation: Die because of pussies
Busy because of a pussies
Go to jail because of a pussies

Have a good Valentine’s Day!

Comments:
Wei you talk about me ar??..I once know as Mr.Wai Hai Sei wor!.
but not only I go jail because of pussy I drop into big jail:-

"Wai hai sei
Wai hai mong
Wai hai Did Lok Tai Kam Fong"
 
Hope you have a great WHS Valentine's Day, Mr Cocka Doodle!
 
my canto version is,
wai hai sei,
wai hai mong.
wai hai dit lok chi si tong.(pig shit pond)

my hokkien version,
wui chi mong gok.
(because of pussy, gave up an empire)

so we all know the pussy is the reason for all great man's downfall. why do we keep asking for more? is it because of the look? the taste? or the smell?
 
lucky la that guy. my fren always reminds me not to be a WH4. But.. but..
 
Wah.. all male talking here..

WHS not good meh?
The Hs give you life.
The Hs give you pleasure.
The Hs give you offsprings.

So, you should continue to be WHS. After all, you owe us your life.
 
Cocka at least you did something in the name of romance! I wish your friend all the best!

Ei, dun divert from important issues. I come to your blog not to see u write about your fren' s V plan.... I came to find out yours!

So, cocka, what is in stored for you tonight???

Happy Valentine to you!! lol
 
Hi Cocka, you boleh jadi love consultant liow... (lol)

Happy Valentine & have a good time !
 
shit, your blog always scare the wits out of me! the music always makes me jump!
and such a graphic song. Very appropriate for today. LOL

Your excellent plan worked out. Didn't know you are a love guru.
All the best to Chin Han!

And a very Happy Valentine's Day to you too!!
 
here is wishing chin han and ling ching hsia the very best...

any females "wai lun sei " ah?
 
Actually, our office gurls damn cheh kai wan but can make good wives lah.

Sei lar lei, I saw this sentence jumped out from the whole story. I wanna ask all the good wives here like Helen, zara's mom,king's wife, samm, sun moon & star (assuming she is married oso) siao cha bor etc etc to whack you 99.

Does this means good wives = cheh kai wan?

LOL, frankly hor I dunno Canto wan, just wondering what is cheh kai wan?
 
Lilian - That is why us batch of gorgeous female bloggers are such in high demand lar! We're the exception. Sexy, beautiful, can go into kitchen and can take out to socialize one. Guaranteed won't pai seh our spouse! lol
 
9394...because of a pussy you go to the slammer. Worth it meh? Psst! Eh, got kena rape ah while you were in there?

LB....you too. Have a good V-Day with your hairdresser! LOL

Ah Pek......Ya, history has shown that men are suckers for love. The romans and egyptians went to war because of cleopatra. tiu!

seng Kor...I actually had you in mind when I created that link for those who have no date on Feb 14th. LOL

ZMM...it should be mutual mah. Where can one sided wan only. This valentine's day you go borrow king's wife vibrator ah since hubby overseas?

Helen...I rushed back to JB from KL to have nice homecook dinner with MOHA. I even opened a bottle of Pinot Noir to set the mood. But, we ate a wee-bit too much. So want to make love after that 'hoe san foo' lah. tiu!

Sado-masochistic-sex......Want to consult me on love matters ah? Can. Now I'm counselling a lady friend of mine who is planning to go thru' her separation process. Just married for 3 yrs already like that. *sigh*

King's wife....The music made you jump or made you feel sexy? Don't forget to loan your vibrator to ZMM. lol

SCB...Got, I know some gurls WLS. Maybe we should introduce them to Seng Kor and 9394. LOL

Lilian....cheh kai means no. 1 lah. The term is derived from the 3 cards game that adds to 10. If all 3 cards adds to give you 11 or 21, that's means you only got 1.
But what I implied was no. 1 lah. You silais all Helen said sexy beautiful, screwable etc.
**wiping cold sweat**
 
Cocka, you turn yr blog to Dr. Love la, sure trapik damn kau wan. And then hor, 9394 got bini got anak dy, dun corrupt him wor. LOL
 
Lilian....I think 9394 got more than that. I'm getting to know this guy more and more everyday.
Like someone said, it is like the discovery channel. LOL
 
Wah, I love it! The 'kisah benar', I mean. You never know if you don't try. That would be the most memorable Valentine's Day for them, eh?
 
Hi Patchee....yep, I suppose that was the most memorable Valentine's day for them. However, it wasn't the case for the other suitor that kena 'fong fei kei' on the last minute.
Its all about timing.
 
chewah!!! at least u can HOPE for the Cordon Bleu to come ur way lar. next time must consult u on how to make life MORE spicy hor? lol :P

~yvy~
 
Yvy...sure anything for you, my dear.So your big day will be this year too eh? Bloggers invited ah?
 
eh cock,
lilian and helen are right. And I want to reiterate.
Good wives do not mean cheh kai!!
You haven't met us silais yet.

Cham lah you..kena tembak 9-9!!

ps: couldn't lend ZM the thing, cos i needed it too!!! hahaha LOL
 
**knees trembling after kena tembak by king's wife. Check again and found the source of trembling ...she left her vibrator on my thighs..LOL**
 
MUAHARHARHAR... the vibrator was actually King's wife V day gift to you. SInce you've eaten too much and cannot do anything.... she is just considerate enuff to give you the thing to gau-doi MOHA.

** Serve you right. Who ask you to see Elton's pics during dinner?? How is little bro... still pengsan after seeing the pics ar? **
 
Helen...how? He looks beautiful in his wedding gown anot?
 
she left on your thigh or sumwhre ELSE???? lol :P
 
WH4, WH mong
ying jan dai lan ngong
 
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