Nothing to Crow About

Breast cancer is the second most fatal cancer in women. Don’t risk it. Have your breast regularly checked. Screening methods suggested include breast self-examination and mammography.
Only mammography has been proved to reduce mortality from breast cancer. In some countries routine (annual) mammography of older women is encouraged as a screening method to diagnose early breast cancer.


We have a proven, painless and economical solution to that.
Please see accompanying picture.




However, we regret to inform you that this method is not applicable to those with lychee-sized boobs.

The Scotsman and the Dentist
A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction.
"£85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.

"£85!!! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"

"That's the normal charge," said the dentist .

"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?"

"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off.

"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without an anesthetic?"

"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop to £40".

"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"

It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "I'll charge you £5. But it's going to be very traumatic."

"Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman. "Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then?"


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The Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud, "Jesus, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this --how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, Iwrap my dick around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."The guy looks at the £20000 price tag.

"Sorry, but I just can't afford that.""Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20; just make the shopkeeper an offer!"

The guy offers £20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes,and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst,"and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....

"Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?""Fucked if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

Here are a few examples of what plastic surgery can transform.....

impeccably beautiful.....

truly a work of living art.........

The alluring smile......

Now, let's take a walk on the wild side across the chinese border...

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Here's what you'll find...

This fairy is so cute that it made me puke!

LORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAKAI
LORMAIKAITHEITALIANFELLOWLOVESLORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAKAILORMAKAI
THEELPRESIDANTEOFTHEHUGHUGCLUBLOVESLORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAI
LORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAI
LORMAIKAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAI
KAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAITHISDELICIOUSLOOKING
LORMAIKAIAWAITSHISRETURNINJULYYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAI
YAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAILORMAI
KAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAI
LORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAI
YAUCHARKWAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAIYOUTIAULORMAIKAILOR
MAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAIYOUTIAULORMAIKAILORMAIKAI
LORMAIKAILORMAIKAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAILORMAIKAILORMAIIKAI
LORMAKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAU
CHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAI
LORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAI
KAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAIHAMCHEENPENGLORMAI
KAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAIHAMCHEENPENGLORMAIKAI
LORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAU
CHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAIYAUCHARKWAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILORMAIKAILOR
MAIKAILORMAIKAIALBIEWONGLOVESLORMAIKAI


Rules of Contest:

Count the number of glutinous rice grain in the Lormakai picture and win a ticket to a movie of your choice. The winner gets to watch it with me. *grin*

Ah May and Angel tagged me in another one of these tough tags. **sigh !!** Why me? Why me?

Anyway, this comes a little late because my puter was experiencing some browser problem.

Thanks to Wingz, I got it fixed in time for this post. So here goes....

1) Cookies: May should bake more of these and bring them on bloggers' meet. Those in favor say 'Aye!'

2) Cock: Apart from peeing and screwing with it, some yogis in India can do wonders ...like lifting loads. Cool eh?



Look Ma! No hands!!
Ok, I'm off to India to learn from these guys.

3) Curry-flavored cunnilingus: Check out my previous post dated May 10th on this adventure with a Spice Girl if you are game.

4) Cunt: an informal word for 'pussy' , which is also an informal word for 'camel toes', which in turn, is another informal word for 'beaver', which is also an informal word for 'pie', which is also 'nonok' in Malay, or the cruder term 'pookie', which is 'poondek' in tamil, the list goes on....

5) Carry balls: This is an asian equivalent to the western term 'apple polishing'. Like it or not, one has to display some subtle skills of 'carrying balls' when you are working for someone.
But...but....if your boss' balls is as huge as this guy, how to carry?



Or if your are reporting to a female boss that subject you to her PPMS (Pre-Post Menstrual Syndrome) tantrums, like this guy, how to go far?


Seng Jai!! Seng Jai!! Ley moe yeh ler mah??


6) Camel Toes: See number 4 for explanation.


7) Craps: this is what he blogs.




8) Crash!!: This is how she drives. LOL

9) Croak: This is how we sounded during the karaoke sessions....except for some I know who actually do it during mating rituals.

10) Chicks: Here are a few I find damn attractive.

I'm not tagging anyone, but if you are in the mood, please do the letter 'Z'.

Cheers.