Sunday, July 30, 2006

 

Weekend Frolic....

Waaa..... Streamyx must be lagging big time down south. Now only this post appear when one of them already posted on the night of the action itself. I guess by now all of you must have read about the makan, dipping one’s fingers into other people’s food, exchanging bodily fluids (Note: These activities are certainly not for those prone to contracting Hepatitis.), karaoke, makan, orgies, makan, movies from here, there, and everywhere so I won’t go into that. But here are some interesting insights and conversation that evening ...and the following day......

At the restaurant.....

Cocka: “Poison, I just snapped a pix of your bum when you were standing up there on the sofa.”

Poison: “Aiyah! Why you take from the rear? Looks flat lah. Take from the side baru can see the curvey-curvey mah”

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Cocka: “Errr......I also took a shot from the side wor. Still look damn flat also. See? Wakakakaka!!!”

After dinner, as we were walking out of the restaurant, the girls decided to go to the ‘ladies’ en masse. LB, Ah Tak and I must’ve waited for at least 30 minutes before they emerged again.

LB: “Waaa...why they take so long wan?”

Cocka: “you know lah..when the girls get together they tend to compare tits lah....boobs lah.....who got more hair on their chest la.......”

LB: “Oh , you mean like whose ones bigger lah.....whose ones more saggy lah?”

Cocka: “Precisely. So which one is your bet?”

LB: “What? Saggiest ah?”

Cocka: “Yeah. You reckon age has a role in it?”

LB:” Naw....it has to be size that make it sag”

I trust his opinion for this guy dresses women....his profession la.

Cocka: “Yeah I guess you’re right. Newton’s law prevails....gravitational pull. ...and if they run ala Baywatch style, don’t forget the Coriolis force may also have a part in throwing them off-tangent from their intended path.”

“Ah Tak! What’s your take?”

Ah Tak: “Big boobs ah?? Zhheng ah!!!”


At the Redbox Karaoke......

There was dancing....


Racun di tangan kiri mu, Madu di tangan kanan mu....


Don’t cha wish your boyfriend is hot like me? Don’t cha? Don’t cha?



Ah May singing a very laam song....


King’s wife number was so sad that it made Ah Tak cried........


Saturday morning....

Dim sum breakfast half awake and more doses of caffeine from Starbucks.

The 3 hardcore bloggers were at it again, while I decided to indulge and pamper myself with an hour and a half of Thai massage.


Late noon.....at Jomel’s home
Watching an episode on chimpazees featured on Animal Planet over Astro with Jomel’s daughter, Kelly. She was rather chatty and has an inquisitive mind, asking lots of questions.

“Uncle, why this monkey got no hair wan?” as she pointed out a sick chimp that had shed it’s fur.

“Oh! This one is a rebel. He went to join the skinheads! See...see that tattoo?”, uncle Cocka answered spontaneously.

Fortunately, there were no mating scenes or I’ll have to act blur and ask Jomel to explain.

A few minutes later......“Uncle, I want to drink Ribena.” Asked Kelly.

So, after pouring out the concentrate I asked her, “Ok, where do I fill up the water? Straight from the tap, yeah?. It’s ok wan....you got a super-duper water filter outside so whatever bacteria or dirt etc would have been filtered liao...it’s quite safe.....hehehe”

Much later......”Uncle, can you help me tie my hair? Come, come take the plastic container on the fridge for me. I want to choose the hair-band and the clips.”

Uncle Cocka: “Ok, what style do you want? Coconut tree ok ah? Or Pony tail? Or funky munky style?”

Who said I’m not good with kids??

Awww.....she is so adorable. Jomel, faiti faiti go get her a daddy lah.

Wait! Wait! Don’t go away! This is not a baby blog.


Saturday midnight show.....”Lakehouse”
This must’ve been one of the most boring romance movie I’ve ever seen.

Keanu Reeves can’t act for nuts. The script was a total failure. It certainly failed to grip my attention. In fact, half way thru the movie I was bored shitless and looked around the cinema for any liked-minded souls. The couple behind me was smooching passionately and furiously underneath a shawl, kicking the back of my chair occasionally amidst the moans and groans of orgasms.

Suddenly, it dawn upon me that if Swedish Erotica Inc was to make a porno out of this storyline, it could have been a blockbuster!

Imagine this...instead of exchanging mails Keanu Reeves sticks his dick into the letterbox....

Somewhere 2 years ahead of his time, Sandra Bullock saw the same dick sticking out of the letterbox and started giving him a blowjob. As she bends over to blow him, her horny pet dog humps her leg.....

The finale would be everyone having an orgy at the glass lakehouse while Reeves and Bullock are the only ones fully clothed, danced the night away.

Yes, yes I think I’ll contact them and sell them the idea.


Saturday, July 15, 2006

 

Lin-Cocka-Wingz University College Of Creative Yamade

Plofessor Lansi Latuk Loktor Lin-Cocka-Wingz

A tripartite ‘educational’ blogging personalities in Bolehland, Plofessor Lansi Latuk Loktor Lin-Cocka-Wingz are 3 highly ‘sek pau moe yeh choe’ bloggers with a multitude of yamade skills to impart.



They were selected as Bolehland’s sole entry for the global Screwing Instructor of the Year Award in Sweden held in June 2006.



A dynamic track record spanning some 40 years as a successful pioneers of ‘doggy-style’ specialist, the ‘Wheelbarrow stunt’, ‘The Cartwheel frolick’, 'The Helicopter Twirl' and Choosing The Sex Of the baby has undisputedly gained fame as the hallmark courses of their reputable international university – the Lin-Cocka-Wingz College University Of Creative Yamade.




Plofessor Lansi Latuk Loktor Lin-Cocka-Wingz are well-known for their innovative approach to sex education and their 'sex industry-within-university' practice are constantly researching and patenting new ‘mind-blowing’ yamade styles.




In addition to pioneering creative sex education, they have set up the 'Balakong's Belakang Innovation Centre' to position "Bolehland as My Second Home" for those who practice alternative lifestyles.




The three of them currently hold the presidential post of the Maraysian-Shanghai Piaomeis exchange program.

They forsee the infinite synergies from uniting the current widely dispersed sex industry to strengthen their ability to market these erotic skills and capabilities globally.





For more information please call 1-800-YAMADE or speak to our education consultants.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

 

Newsbreak 2

It is 2010, the WC is being held in South Africa. ...(sounds of bongo drums playing in the background)

England (again) is being hail as WC contender (as usual) and being tout as one of the favourite to win the tournament.
They pass the group stage by beating New Zealand 1-0 (by an own goal)

Then they beat Lexumborg 2-0, and their last game they drew 2-2 with Peru.

Their odds was shorten, all players said they are confident of winning the title, their coach (Steve McLaren) were looking forward to the final.

No one can believe what happen on the round of 16, they were beaten 8-0 by Ghana !!!!!!!! Essien score a hat trick. The whole nation were in mourning, the players cried.

The next day, the players and coach regroup, they know that they will be slaughtered if they goes back to England, so they decide to go for the safari tour instead. They were enjoying themselves when they were kidnapped by a cannibal tribe. The cannibal were celebrating of the upcoming feast, then the tribal recognize those STAR players from England.

CHIEF: aren' t you the English team manager?
Steve : yes

CHIEF: my men are going to cook your team for dinner, but if you can beat our village soccer team, I will let you go.
Steve: ok. (very confident)

Steve got a shock of his life when the Chief assembled 11 monkeys to faces his team, he question the Chief and refuse to play the match. The chief kill him on the spot.

Steve went to heaven, he is worried what will happened to his team. 2 hours later, his captain John Terry join him in heaven.

Steve: what happened???
John: we can't back out of the match after seeing what they did to you, they will kill us anyway if we don' t play. And anyway we are very confident of beating them, they are only playing 11 monkeys against us, we are WORLD CLASS players

Steve: so what happened? Why are you here?
John: those monkeys were good, they tried to defend in numbers, but Rooney and Crouch did managed lot of shots between them, but their goalie is even better, he swing on the bar and catch whatever we shoot on them.

Steve: then?
John: Rooney got himself send off for arguing with a monkey.

Steve: oh no, so we lost the game?
John: no, we played well with 10, but no goals between us, so the match goes into extra time and still deadlock.

Steve: then why are you here?
John: WE LOST ON PENALTY.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

 

Newsbreak!!





It's been reported that Saddam Hussein has been found guilty and sentenced to be shot.

His last request was to name his own firing squad.

He chose Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher from 12 yards.

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