Thursday, August 30, 2007
Midweek Cheers....
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A minister was completing a temperance sermon.
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
Sermon complete, he sat down.
The song leader stood very cautiously and announced With a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song,
Friday, August 24, 2007
Two Scores And Five !!!
Today my big day has finally arrive
Not a day less, I’ve hit two scores and five
Some say I’m trapped in a body of a twenty five
Others asked what’s my secret of being so alive
Whenever there are piaomeis I rush like bees to a hive
Pssst! let me tell you, come closer, lets connive
My secret is I thoroughly enjoy muff dive
Drinking from her fountain; your youth will revive
But with proper douching, the honey pot smells nice
Lap up every drop, let your tongue does the jive
When it’s over, raise a toast and proclaim, “All hail to vice!!”
Disclaimer: Kids! Don’t try this at home.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Breaking News!!!!!
Your attention please!!!
I've just received a SMS saying that terrorists have kidnapped Samy Vellu!
And they are demanding a ransom of RM 6.5 million , or else they will burn him alive with kerosene!
Please donate NOW!!
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I have donated 15 litres......!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Monday cheers....Grandpa On The Porch
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?
Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
"Well... last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck.
This is your grandma's idea."
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Midweek cheers-The Pope and the Rabbi...
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy.
There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.
He would debate with the leader of the Jewish community.
If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the Pope won, they would have to leave.
The Jewish people met and picked the aged but wise Rabbi Moishe to represent them in the debate.
However, as Moishe spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.
On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten, that Rabbi Moishe was too clever, and that the Jews could stay.
Later, the Cardinals met with the Pope, asking what had happened.
The Pope said, "First, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.
"Then, I waved my finger to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us."
"Finally, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin."
"He had me beaten and I could not continue."
Meanwhile the Jewish community was gathered around Rabbi Moishe.
"How did you win the debate?" they asked.
"I haven't a clue," said Rabbi Moishe.
"First the Pope said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger."
"Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, and I said to him, we're staying right here."
"And then what?" asked a woman.
"Who knows?" said Rabbi Moishe, "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Tribute To AceOne
There is this bachelor known to many as Ace 1. (For some reasons Linpeh calls him humhai or salty pussy). Don’t let that nick Ace 1 fools you as it has nothing to do with his performance in bed.
He is currently voted as the most eligible bachelor by an overwhelming majority....
But he prefers the bachelor lifestyle since he can have 5 girlfriends….
….and this song best describes it. Wakakakakakaka!!!!
Ok ..ok…I’ve been mean and unkind. In actual fact, he dates…
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Here's a picture of his date and his favorite dating theme song.....
Muahahahahahaa!!! Sei mei???
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Oops! I Farted Again....
Related post here.
Oh yes, this song also dedicated to her.....haha!
At least I know what to get her for her birthday.
A fart is such a useful thing
it brings you lots of ease
it warms the bed on winter nights
and suffocates the fleas.
Here’s a Limerick for the Classically Inclined...
”Laundry amah the hottie blogger,
Who, decided to take on a wager--
She consented to fart
The entire oboe part
Of Mozart's Quintet in F Major
A charming person, Kieran & Kylie's mother,
still out to prove she’s a magnificent farter,
On the strength of baked bean,
She'd fart “We are The Champions” by Queen,
And finale of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata."
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