Nothing to Crow About

Auntie Helen felt a lump in her throat when she saw Unke Lin entered the room escorted by two mangkali guards and walking terkangkang from all that rear-boring. It was like deep-throating a fat dick and she had forgotten to pull it out.

“Hi, how have you been? I brought your youngest son Lin Peh to see you. I’ve been taking real good care of him”, said Helen beaming with pride as she watches tentatively as Unke Lin slowly ease his well-bored ass down to the chair.As the pain in his arse subsides, with a sigh of relief he asked; “Have you been imparting your yamade skills to him as well?

”“Yes, I can’t help it. I am so in love with you and he carries such a strong resemblance of you! I have to yamade with him and fantasize that it is you in your absence in spite of his 3-inch manhood and premature ejaculations!!!” replied Helen without a tinge of remorse.
“10 fucking years is a long time to wait you know!”

Keeping his calm and composure Unke Lin replied; “I’ll be out of this hole in a month. I’m going to miss all my jail mates, my lovers, the kitchen helper’s kinky rolling pin, and the wardens’ roughened and splintered truncheons etc….then we can catch up on all those lost time, my dear Helen. We gonna make wild love to Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs, She Bangs”



The Seductress…..

Lin Peh knew the time has come for his father would claim the reigns of his mistress. He recalled vividly how as a 14 year old boy, he was seduced by the cunning and conniving Auntie Helen. She would deliberately call for him to her room and ask the frightened lad to massage her tired neck with her seated in front of the dressing table. As he massaged her with his inexperience hands, she would deliberately allow her satin night gown shoulder strap to carelessly slip down exposing her voluptuous milky white breasts. He would watched with awe and jaws agape at the rising and falling of her perfectly molded heaving breasts in momentum of each breath drawn and expelled from the reflection of the mirror. His aching kkc would be begging to be released from the clutches of his shorts. Auntie Helen would repeatedly teased him for several months with this wanton exhibitionism, not bothered to cover up each time her gown slips. This was simply too much for a young man to bear.

One day, as Lin Peh could no longer contain his teenage raging hormones, he violated and ravaged her pet poodle! Caught in the acts of copulation and getting stucked, Helen had no choice but to pour a bucket of water at the coupled genitals of Lin Peh and the poodle to cool them off. It was from then on, Auntie Helen in her quest to save her poodle gave herself to Lin Peh instead.

Flashback of Unke Lin’s life in Pudu jail…..

These 10 years of his life was a dark chapter in his biography. Tormenting his thoughts was Unke Lin’s plans of seeking revenge on those who did him harm, who humiliated him beyond comprehensible words Unke Lin vowed to convert them to Christianity …the biggest punishment mankind could fathom! LOL

While in prison, he befriended a ‘born-again’ Christian named Fanshee Yau who was instrumental in showing Unke Lin the ‘right path.’

Fanshee a hardcore criminal from sunhill was doing time for robbing and raping frail, old, helpless ladies. He was often left to rot in solitary confinement cells with no luxury of proper sewage and lighting. Afraid of the dark and poor sanitation, one could often hear him cussing and banging his head at the slammer door; “Kan nee nah ma! One day when I am released, I’m going to build power stations to light up farking Bolehland and and make the gahmen buy power from me. And I’m going to buy up enough farking water facilities to flush my lifetime shit away, niamah lu, you just wait!”

The two met while playing one of those Unke Lin’s ‘who will sleep with who tonite’ spin the bottle game. With a talent for gaming Unke Lin has always initiated many forms of gambling while in prison.One of his favorites has always been ‘Musical Dicks’. Fashioned out from the nursery school’s ‘musical chairs’, Musical Dicks would have several participants with an erection, seated on every chair.

The players will then go round and round the chairs laid out in a circular arrangement to the tune of the music. As the music stops, players would rush and sit on the seated participants’ erected dick. Those who could not find a dick to sit on will be dropped from the game. Research funded by United Nations and conducted by some of the top notched psychologists concludes that the benefits of this game has helped prisoners dispel the possibility of emotional bonding towards only one partner as the game encourages one to sit on multiple dicks throughout the duration. Hence, it is deemed as healthy to the body and mind.

Disclaimer : This story is make up of all fictional characters. If anyone resembles any of the fictional character in this story, it must be purely coincidental because our prisons don’t have such games. To cover my arse, go find Lin Peh. He started it! LOL

I am passing the Olympic torch to Ah Pek