Nothing to Crow About

Haggling on bid price. 10 camels for the hand of his daughter....

Took time off to join the desert khalifah…..

Stayed here….

Because I could not afford to stay here…….

Survived on Turkish coffee and dates……..

Mingling with the locals….

Special SPACIOUS parking lots for the silais because they don’t know how to reverse park or parallel park……

If you are a party animal, check out the night scenes at the York Club and the Cyclone. You’ll be truly amazed by the number of chicks who hang out there.
The ratio is about 4 women to every man. Chinese piao meis, Africans and Russians chicks in abundance. I could never believe prostitution is so rampant in a middle east country like this!
Just hang out at the bar and they will approach you. One good thing is they don’t hustle you to buy them drinks and they get straight to the point. There was this Tanzanian beauty that came up to me and after the usual small talk she urged me to folloe her back to her place. Licking her lips seductively she said that she gives very good blowjobs. “Look at my boobs…..don’t you want to play with my boobs?’, she asked as she was displaying those melons playfully. "I'm sorry lady. I'm afraid you can't afford me" *grin*
Apart from Tanzania the Africans are mainly from Ethiopia & Uganda. The Russians will tell you that they are from Moscow just to elevate their status and charge more, but they are actually from those –istan countries; Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, United States of Americanistan. Sorry no pics here. The bouncers warned me about taking pictures in the night club.



I recalled my first tour of duty here in 1991, weeks before the first Gulf War on a mission to rescue a ship stranded at Fujairah. The vessel’s control system was down and I was under tremendous pressure to get it up and running before they declare that area a war zone. Troops were already massing in the region getting ready to liberate Kuwait.
Once the area is declared war zone, no flights or ships are allowed in the vicinity and those who defied the order risked being shot down! Despite the nail-biting, pee in the pants tension, and many sleepless nights, I managed to get the ship out of the gulf one week before the no-fly, no-sail zone took effect. And we charged a premium for the service of course!

This is one place that takes pride as having one of the lowest crime rates in the world, and UAE is testimony that peace can exist in the middle east.

It is truly liberal in many aspects, for example, one can bring in 4 liters of alcohol (Malaysia only allows 1 liter….tiu) and up to 400 sticks of ciggies upon arrival. They are also very tolerant to western fashion although topless sunbathing is not allowed, thongs are tolerated on the beaches and hotel pools…except on Fridays! There are plenty of pubs and bars in Dubai, however, you are advised not to drink alcohol while walking on the streets and getting pissed drunk in public.

Driving in Dubai…..
Emiratees are one of the worse drivers in the world I was told. I picked up some of the driving tips from the hotel’s guide book.

-Don’t forget to drive on the right hand side of the road.
-Always ensure that everyone in the vehicle is belted up.
-If the driver behind flashes you or start to tailgate, move over and let him past, but always check the inside lane first because some asshole may be overtaking you from that lane too!
-Don’t be surprise if someone suddenly accelerates from the fast lane to the slip road in a split second cutting up to 4 lanes of traffic in the process. This happens very frequently.
-Always remember that the indicators are considered a fashion accessory. Don’t expect anyone to give you a clue on what they intend to do.
-Although overtaking on the wrong lanes is an offence it is commonly practiced here. (sounds too familiar, right?)
-If someone in front of you is driving erratically, it is almost certainly due to the fact that they are reading map directions, sending a text message and balancing an infant on their lap all at the same time. Don’t worry, you’ll get use to it!
-Road rage doesn’t exist here. However, do not be tempted to shout abuse at, or bestow upon anyone any form of ‘hand signal’. This is a criminal offence in the UAE and you may find yourself reported to the police.
-If you are unlucky enough to involve in any form of accident, and your vehicle is not obstructing traffic you are required by law to leave the vehicle where it is and call the police. (don’t try this in Malaysia. Your wrecked car might also get stolen!)
-If your vehicle is pulled over by the police, you will be expected to get out of the vehicle and approach the police car rather than remaining in your car whilst the officer comes to you.

Parking lot reserved for Wingz...

Its safer to get around on a camel than to drive.

This trip is too short. I hope to do the desert safari on my next visit.

# posted by Cocka Doodle @ 4:11 PM