Sunday, April 02, 2006

 

Rock The Kasbah!

I was away for almost a week at the land of the Emirates….
Attending to business, conducting site survey,







Haggling on bid price. 10 camels for the hand of his daughter....



Took time off to join the desert khalifah…..





Stayed here….



Because I could not afford to stay here…….

Survived on Turkish coffee and dates……..




Mingling with the locals….




Special SPACIOUS parking lots for the silais because they don’t know how to reverse park or parallel park……

If you are a party animal, check out the night scenes at the York Club and the Cyclone. You’ll be truly amazed by the number of chicks who hang out there.
The ratio is about 4 women to every man. Chinese piao meis, Africans and Russians chicks in abundance. I could never believe prostitution is so rampant in a middle east country like this!
Just hang out at the bar and they will approach you. One good thing is they don’t hustle you to buy them drinks and they get straight to the point. There was this Tanzanian beauty that came up to me and after the usual small talk she urged me to folloe her back to her place. Licking her lips seductively she said that she gives very good blowjobs. “Look at my boobs…..don’t you want to play with my boobs?’, she asked as she was displaying those melons playfully. "I'm sorry lady. I'm afraid you can't afford me" *grin*
Apart from Tanzania the Africans are mainly from Ethiopia & Uganda. The Russians will tell you that they are from Moscow just to elevate their status and charge more, but they are actually from those –istan countries; Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, United States of Americanistan. Sorry no pics here. The bouncers warned me about taking pictures in the night club.



I recalled my first tour of duty here in 1991, weeks before the first Gulf War on a mission to rescue a ship stranded at Fujairah. The vessel’s control system was down and I was under tremendous pressure to get it up and running before they declare that area a war zone. Troops were already massing in the region getting ready to liberate Kuwait.
Once the area is declared war zone, no flights or ships are allowed in the vicinity and those who defied the order risked being shot down! Despite the nail-biting, pee in the pants tension, and many sleepless nights, I managed to get the ship out of the gulf one week before the no-fly, no-sail zone took effect. And we charged a premium for the service of course!




This is one place that takes pride as having one of the lowest crime rates in the world, and UAE is testimony that peace can exist in the middle east.


It is truly liberal in many aspects, for example, one can bring in 4 liters of alcohol (Malaysia only allows 1 liter….tiu) and up to 400 sticks of ciggies upon arrival. They are also very tolerant to western fashion although topless sunbathing is not allowed, thongs are tolerated on the beaches and hotel pools…except on Fridays! There are plenty of pubs and bars in Dubai, however, you are advised not to drink alcohol while walking on the streets and getting pissed drunk in public.

Driving in Dubai…..
Emiratees are one of the worse drivers in the world I was told. I picked up some of the driving tips from the hotel’s guide book.


-Don’t forget to drive on the right hand side of the road.
-Always ensure that everyone in the vehicle is belted up.
-If the driver behind flashes you or start to tailgate, move over and let him past, but always check the inside lane first because some asshole may be overtaking you from that lane too!
-Don’t be surprise if someone suddenly accelerates from the fast lane to the slip road in a split second cutting up to 4 lanes of traffic in the process. This happens very frequently.
-Always remember that the indicators are considered a fashion accessory. Don’t expect anyone to give you a clue on what they intend to do.
-Although overtaking on the wrong lanes is an offence it is commonly practiced here. (sounds too familiar, right?)
-If someone in front of you is driving erratically, it is almost certainly due to the fact that they are reading map directions, sending a text message and balancing an infant on their lap all at the same time. Don’t worry, you’ll get use to it!
-Road rage doesn’t exist here. However, do not be tempted to shout abuse at, or bestow upon anyone any form of ‘hand signal’. This is a criminal offence in the UAE and you may find yourself reported to the police.
-If you are unlucky enough to involve in any form of accident, and your vehicle is not obstructing traffic you are required by law to leave the vehicle where it is and call the police. (don’t try this in Malaysia. Your wrecked car might also get stolen!)
-If your vehicle is pulled over by the police, you will be expected to get out of the vehicle and approach the police car rather than remaining in your car whilst the officer comes to you.

Parking lot reserved for Wingz...


Its safer to get around on a camel than to drive.

This trip is too short. I hope to do the desert safari on my next visit.













Comments:
Impressive ... LOL @ Parking in the back side LOL!

Is that u in that pic? The tiny man in front of ze' big building? :D

You sure u didn't play the Tanzanian papayas?
 
wuah! so nice wor, make me wanna go too! but too hot & dry there hor?
 
DO the desert safari and the Tanzanian beauty as well??

Nice post. Wondering why I didn't enjoy my trip there last time. Maybe I should go again.

Wei, I KNOW how to parallel park, ok?
 
Welcome back! Dubai looks very clean, and very hot!!

Such a coincidence, my husband was just asking me whether I want to stay in Dubai for a few years or not (may have job offer there). So how? Nice place to stay or not?

I am better in parallel parking than my husband, and don't even need to backside in summore...

You are back, but Helen is still missing..unless this is Helen's post???!!
 
Angel.....yep that's me in the pix. No, those were not tanzanian papayas. Those were tanzanian bongo drums!!

Wuching....its hot, but it's not humid. At noon it gets up to about 30C but in summer it's higher!

King's Wife....Do the desert safari, definitely...but tanzanian beauty...ermm....no lah. Don't want to risk getting drugged and robbed in a foreign place.
You should go again. Bring the kids to this place called the Wild Wadi or do indoor snow skiing. Buy a house next to beckham's at the 'World'. LOL

Kat....Yep, it's a clean and modern city.Yes, it can get very hot in summer. There are about 4 million ppl in the UAE, but 3/4 of them are foreigners. It's a nice place to stay if you don't miss malaysian food.
Helen?? I traded her for the camels...in turn traded the camels for that old man's daugther. Hehehehe!!
 
out with it! how many times you call chicken?
or did you just screw the camels?
 
Enlightening post about the middleast!

OK, like ah pek, straight to the point...... how many u bought home to your harem?? lol

BTW, i do mean bought. :-P
 
pics show places look pretty neat and clean....sound like a safe place to visit but is it safe for us ladies to scout around without guide??
l love adventure, desert safari sound fun.....it's..it's in my list but at the very bottom...hmmm hv to think hard hard.
 
Errmmm.. just business ??
No leisure cum pleasure ? (hahaa..)
 
uncle cocka, dun bluff us la.. we all know u sure hantam the tanzanian girl oredi one.. no need shy shy..
 
And I thought you went to some exotic places with Helen..
Exotic alright, but without Helen and lots of other beuties selling their melons.

It's always nice to mix pleasure with work, especially when travelling! I haven't done that for ages!!!!!!

So did you sunbathe in your tongs too?
 
How much you charge the Arabs for Brokeback Mau Turn?
 
Ah Pek....if I tell you I didn't call, you also won't believe me, right? Anyway, i did check out the rates so that I know I won't get rip off if I'm to bring my customers there later.
Screwing camels?? Naw...they are way too tall.

Helen....don't pretend lah..you were with me all the while you don't know meh? Oops! I forgot! I traded you for the camels. Muahahaha!!!

Pt....yes, apparently Dubai is quite safe and I've seen european gals walking around in pairs...wearing shorts. However, don't try this in Egypt, Turkey or any other arab countries. There has been cases of kidnapping.

Elaine....didn't have time to do a desert safari although I very much love to. There's a visit to a bedouin camp and belly dancing thrown-in.

Seng Kor...Oi! My kkc not negro size leh. Put in there would be like a teaspoon stirring in a coffee mug! LOL

ZMM....helen's melons more exotic hor...I heard got tattoo summore! LOL
ya lor...mix pleasure with business and try to close deals in the bars...get the contract signed on the belly of a russian belle while brushing the boobs of the tanzanian chick out of the way...LOL
No, I didn't sunbathe in tongs, but I went topless. :)

Lilian.... Oh! broke back mau turn not tolerated here....so they say, but I believe they exist in some private clubs. ok,ok I'll check it out for you on my next trip.
 
ey, you got tarr pao a arabian man for me or not?

all u tink off is you and the tanzanian chick..whoa, shiok la, big big longkang, can raba raba

wats our souvenir?
 
nice nice... got bring back some dates for us anot? rode any camel? more pictures, more!
 
very nice wor. next time I follow you ok?
 
what a coincidence!

now water oso wash no clean.

better you send some pics to elen.

at least she can write something and post the pics to justify her absence.
 
wa lau eh
another blogger couple ??
Is it the trend nowadays ?
 
So you were on that boat I was targeting. Finally, after all these years we meet again. muahahaha...

Alright I was out of the service then.

That's you in front of the building? Duh you already answered that. But you look like a kwai-loh? You one huh?
 
They allow people to bring alcohol into the country? Hmm...on second thoughts, after reading about those piao meis...I'm not surprised.

Was it fun driving on the other side of the road?? LOL!
 
shiok shiok baca and tengok....tapi tak tahu what to komen lah.
 
wuahaha mch parking in the bekside!!!
 
If you put your backside up on offer, i wonder how many takers there'll be? Maybe they'll even pay u with camels, hoh.
 
and how many litre petrol ur cute little ass got u? lol
 
ok ok you may be scouting for a suitable place to host your bloggers' meet.
 
SCB.....arabian men tar pau not nice wan.. must eat there baru shiok! LOL. That Tanzanian chick's cleavage is not longkang, my dear. It was a canyon!

May....no leh, I ate all the dates wor. :(
i rather be riding something from Tanzania than camels. LOL

Jomel....yes, yes...come with me and experience the arabian nights. I'll take you on my flying carpet and show you a few rope tricks. LOL

Roach.....desert got no water wan...so no need to wash so clean.

Anon....actually I prefer threesome. LOL

SA.....good try, but you were not in the navy right?
Yep, that's me at the sandstone building. Naw...me no kwai loh. Banana maybe...you know, yellow on the outside, white on the inside. Don't laugh, you are what I call a hard-boiled egg. White on the outside, yellow on the inside. LOL

Simmie....no it was no fun driving on the right side when we are so used to driving on the wrong side. I nearly had an accident at the roundabout...wanted to go clockwise against the flow of traffic.

Mslenglui....tak tau what to komen nevermind. Just don't ask the same question as Ah Pek's. LOL

Wingz....you sound truly delighted...I'm not surprise! LOL

Samm....now that you mentioned it, certain arab countries do rape men especially those without moustache. One of my colleagues got molested on a public transport when the guy sitting next to him suddenly put his hands on my friend's thigh. Another one got his breast felt in Pakistan. Very foong kong wan these ppl.

Helen...wow, you call my ass cute. Ermm...you got taste lady! LOL

cockroach.....yes! at the Burg al Arab!
 
Oiyah. I laughed and then you said not to do so and I spew coke everywhere instead.

I like that analogy. Boiled egg. Very fitting.
 
cocka: that's how I feel everytime I come home to visit. Almost got into a few accidents. Nevermind lah...after a few weeks back home, my driving became steadier. Then, after I returned to US, I started driving on the wrong side of the road again. A lady in a nearby car rolled down the window to tell me that cars are heading my way....LOL!!!
 
"Licking her lips seductively she said that she gives very good blowjobs."

Pray tell her exact words?

how cud u deny the tanzanian lubang from a malaysian batang?? how cud u?? how cud u?? LOL
 
Must be a very exciting business trip you had. More pics to show?
 
So, did u put on a fake moustache on your face to make it more errr, MACHO???
 
SA...maybe it's befitting to change your avatar to a boiled egg too. LOL

Simmie.....I wouldn't want to be driving near you when you come home.


Sooi2.....yes, those were her exact words. I was taken aback as well by her bluntness.
How cud I refuse? Simple, I told her that the night is still young and I want to shop around. When one plays hard to get, the competition amongst the girls intensifies...the price goes down, the list of 'can dos' adds on. LOL

SMS.....some of the pix didn't turn out well. I've got lousy shutterbug skills.

Samm.....wei? that is real moustache leh. No stick-on. Ask your hubby to grow one. You don't know what you are missing. **wink**
 
cocka: nevermind...I drive you around. That way, no one will dare be in our wayyyyyy! LOL!
 
Simmie.....Ooooo...yes! yes! drive me to the heights of ecstasy. LOL
 
Ooohh.. Now I know how you look like. *grin*
 
Lil' Patchee.....looks anything like your 'inspector' or not? *grin*
 
So...did u do the tarzan chic ? By the way, your bini got read your blog wan ah ? LOL!
 
No lah. You think I kai choong ah?
Shhh!! Lucky bini don't know I got blog wan. Wait....bini? What bini?? Your bini got read your meh?
 
Exactly ! Wat Bini ? LOL! and YES U ARE KAI CHONG! LOL!
 
apa macam? come back from arab, moe seng moe hei? visit tanzanian beauty too much until legs and hands also weak ah?
 
wah Dubai! only a few camels worth for helen? LOL
oi you in JB nex wed or not? we go lunch wan?
 
Lenglui......not only hands & legs weak. kkc and tongue also weak. Muahahahaha!!!

flyboy...can, Wed sounds good. Let me bring you for JB seafood. What's your contact no.?
 
That's a great story. Waiting for more. security home management training seminar http://www.dishwasher-1.info
 
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