Sunday, January 28, 2007

 

Damn 9 chiong hei tag

.
Hi folks! Sorry for not updating of late. I have been busy like a green arse fly these couple of weeks and I’m waaaaaaaay…behind in this tag. I’m sure you’ll get to know me lots after going thru’ the questions yeah.


1) Are your parents married or divorced?
Were married. She was widowed in ’91 but she has since found someone nice from her church. I think that uncle must be tired of living also after knowing her. Hahahaha!!!

2) Are you a vegetarian?
No, my religion does not allow me to consume vegetables or any kind of greens. Only meat. Vegetables scream when you cut them.


3) Do you believe in Heaven?
Initially no, but now that a certain group says there are virgins awaiting especially when you blow yourself up….YES!!

4) Have you ever come close to dying?
Yes, when she sat on my face, I began to suffocate. *gasp!* Cunnilingus has never been this life-threathening before!


5) What jewellery do you wear 24/7?
Penis ring counted ah?.

6) Favourite time of day?
It has to be feeding time.

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?

No, see answer 2.

8) Do you wear makeup?
Only once. I painted the club colours on my face- red, white and green rings like a target.


9) Ever have plastic surgery?
No, but I am negotiating with my surgeon on th
e rates for a Brad Pitt look-alike.


10) Do you colour your hair?
Be specific can anot? Are you talking about hair on head? Pubic region? Armpits or chest??

11) What do you wear to bed?

Usually a dirty smile if I’m horny.


12) Have you ever done anything illegal?

a) Smoked pot

b) used my engineering expertise to modify kapcai bikes for Saturday nights illegal races

c) gang-banged a nympho with 3 others when I was 16.

13) Can you roll your tongue?
Around a nipple? Yes…can

14) Do you tweeze your eyebrows?
No. But I once shaved a friend’s eyebrows when he was out pissed drunk.

15) What kind of sneakers?
Fung Keong. Is this brand still around?


16) Do you believe in Abortions?
Only if the Pope got the nuns pregnant.

17) What is your Hair color?

See answer 10.

18) Future child’s name?
Shhhh!!! *Whisper* Legitimate or illegitimate ones? LOL.

19) Do you snore?
Yes, yes!! I score twice last week, sometimes three if I’m lucky. Wait! Did you say score or snore?


20) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
Baghdad. I heard they’ve got great fireworks display everynight!

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
No, my taxidermist said they looked better displayed prominently in the living room. That reminds me to go hunting for some more animals to stuff. A sun bear would be a nice addition.


22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
I’ll check and recheck whether it’s some African scam.

23) Gold or silver?
For melting down and making the Holy Cow I choose gold.


24) Hamburger or hot dog?

Hamburgers of course. It resembles the pussy when held up sideways. The oozing, dripping mayonaise that resembles love juice…begging to be lapped up…..

The cheesy smell…..

The musky beefy meat patty….mmm….


25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
See question 24


26) City, beach or country?
Wherever got lenglui piaomeis, I go.


27) What was the last thing you touched?
Hers…

28) Where did you eat last?
At Jarrods & Rawlings with her and her.

29) When’s the last time you cried?
Reading the newspapers. I laughed so hard I cried. These days the local political scenes are damn funny. Frankly, I think they can do away with the comic strip. The whole newspaper IS indeed a comic and the country’s a circus!

30) Do you read blogs?

This is a trick question right? Tiu!


31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Does kilt counts?

32) Ever been involved with the police?

Yep. Mostly bribing them.

But the most satisfying thing would be playing a game of rugby against them. When else could one get to sock or stomp on cops and get away with it?

33) What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap
?
Shampoo? What shampoo? soap and water will do the trick.

Soap : Popinjay, 333

34) Do you talk in your sleep?
Sometimes. On a couple of occasions, MOHA got quite upset because it wasn’t her name that was uttered.


35) Ocean or pool?
By the pool sipping cocktails, ogling at sweet young things. Bring on the nubiles!!

36) So, who has the original missing questions? #36, 37, 61, and 62?
Another trick question ah?.


37) Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
Don’t know wat wat menage.

But me and Ah Pek would rather have a romp with a Minachi for a spicy weekend. LOL

38) Window seat or aisle?

On the plane, definitely aisle. Can cuci mata with all those sexy stewardess. But of late, MAS stewardess all also damn cheh kai mya.

39) Ever met anyone famous?
Yes, Linpeh and Rojakz

40) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?

Before or after taking up blogging?


41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?

Cooked or uncooked spaghetti?? Not yet cook how to twirl? Tiu!

42) Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?

Mr Bean, can ah?

43) Basketball or Football?
I prefer watching ladies playing tennis. Those bouncing bor bor more interesting.

44) How long do your showers last?
Depends on who I am showering with. I like to scrub her back and she scrubs mine. A wild passionate lovemaking in the shower and all that foreplay can take 45 mins to 1 hour.


45) Automatic or do you drive a stick?
Stick…yes, I usually tie a carrot to the stick. The stupid mule loves chasing after it.
No, I have not seen an automatic donkey yet.


46) Cake or ice cream?
Ice cream….when I want to spread it all over her body and lick it off her.

47) Are you self-conscious?

No. I finally succeeded in dipping yau char kwai in a cup of café latte at Starbucks with all those prim and proper yuppies giving me disapproving stares.

48) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
Hahahaa!! What do you think? Many moons ago, I got drunk and fell asleep behind the wheel at a traffic junction while waiting for the lights to change.

On numerous occasions, I could find my way home, but got just too pissed to open the door and go into the house. So I slept in the car.

Yes, threw up once while attempting the ‘Yard Glass’ drinking sprint.

49) Have you ever given money to a beggar?
No, but I remember when I was young we were so poor that we ended up robbing the burglar that broke into our house. LOL


50) Have you been in love?
Why keep a cow when milk is readily available from the supermarket?


51) Where do you wish you were?
Stranded on a dessert island with a dozen big boob bimbos, and only me could provide the only source of liquid protein. Hehe!

52) Are you wearing socks?

No, am wearing pantyhose over my head!

53) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

Choi!


54) Can you tango?
No, I prefer a-go-go. You should have seen Nyonya Penang did hers at Redbox last week. LOL

55) Last gift you received?

That Christmas gift nicely wrapped up in ribbons…

56) Last sport you played?

Muff diving…12 hours ago.


57) Things you spend a lot of money on?

Massages, DVDs

58) Where do you live?

The flooded state.

59) Where were you born?

PJ Old town.


60) Last wedding attended?

Definitely not mine.

61) Spit or swallow?

Pussy juice - swallow.
Pubic hair- Spit

62) Favorite position?

Wheelbarrow.

63) Most hated food(s)?
All those food sold along the North-South Highway. Tiu..every stall also sells the same thing. How these people can survive I wonder.

64) What’s your least favourite?

Least favorite position ah? It has to be Farmer Sutra positions…unless you are Aussie. LOL



65) Can you sing?

Little bit lah…but I've been having this “Sha La La La La…” thingy in my head of late. LOL

66) Last person you instant messaged?
A hottie

67) Last place you went on holiday?

With the wife or piaomeis?


68) Favourite regular drink?

Earl grey

69) Current Song?

Dim Sum Girl….press here to listen.



70) Tag 3 suckers :
Linpeh, Rojakz and 9393…but knowing them these lazy farkers won’t give 2 hoots about it.

So here you go, KW! Done your tag liao!


Comments:
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
this must be one of the funniest versions of the tag I've read!
ok, lemme be more specific. so what colour is your pubic hair lar? :P
 
KakaWaka!!!
That was Illegal? Gang-banging nympho?!! Sei lor.. checking my old samanses..
 
*looks at ah may with one raised eyebrow, unplucked..*
 
ok done! http://rojaks.blogspot.com/2007/01/70-stupid-questions.html
 
'swallow' while lifting a 'wheelbarrow'! wuah.....
 
Wah... you horny a lot, eh? Everytime I see you, you have a dirty smile!! And no, I don't mean you flashing your dirty smile at me! Stare into space also got dirty smile!!

I heard J&R has another branch in a bungalow somewhere. Do you know where?
 
LOL... u also kena, u tagged wingz for wat lah? He did that long time ago lor... LOL
 
Hahaha!!

*peeps under the kilt to find the answer for may*

So, did you and the 3 others 'wheelbarrow' the nympho?
 
Ah May...ok, ok..I'll give you a strand as souvenir before you leave for Oz. LOL

LB...You mean it was legal ah? Schucks! Should have rode without the helmet then. LOL
*Joins LB to look at May with raised eyebrows...and kilt.*

Wingz...would you like to do another 70? Aw...c'mon. I know you are quite a sport.

NP...Kind of hard to imagine. Must demonstrate wan. LOL

Kat...I was actually flashing that smile at you leh...and letting my imgination run wild. LOL
J&R in a bangalow? Ask Angel or KW. They are the makan directory.
For chinese food, ask Wingz.
For breast milk...ask Zara mama.

Kenny...How about you? You kena already anot? If not, please consider yourself tagged! LOL

Angel...Actually after that session of pot smoking, we can't tell who was wheelbarrowing who. LOL
 
lols~ well done unker cocka` :D
 
cocka sir, yea you are right! i m quite a sport but I m NOT as sport as you would like me to be!!! KAKAKAKA!!! sucker!
 
hahaa..the funniest and no doubt most hamsap one!! Why am I not surprised? Thks for being a sport!

Kat, the bungalow is at Lorong Dungun, Damansara Heights.
 
LOL... so this is the dim sum girl song...
 
Wondering if penis ring hurts...
 
where got know you better after this tag ah? unless u mean that it confirmed you are full of bullshit lah. *runs off*
 
Done liao. Go my blog see ! ;-)
 
A^Ben...Tenkiu, tenkiu

Wingz...When do you want to take me to Jogoya for Alaskan crabs?

KW...Next time tag shorter one can anot? This one took me 2 weeks to do leh.

Will...Reminds you of Chibi again ah? I think you are falling for her liao. LOL

Khengsiong...It hurts when you are wearing it during lovemaking. But then hor, there is no pleasure without pain.

Lenglui...I no bullshit wan. All true. And how come your yahoo email don't work anymore?

Linpeh...I sue 9 you baru tau...for lying in blogsphere. Your nick says you are my father, but you are not.
 
Hahaha!! Cocka, your humsup answers really moh tuck ting...
Moon
 
Cocka Darling!!

HAHAHAHA Was laughing so much I nearly cried!!!

Buzz BUzz
 
LOL! very funny and hamsap response!
 
aduh! 70 questions ah?
 
aitelyu, ds tag ahhhh, if i ever catch the fler who started it all, i'm gonna pull his kkc long long and tie a big knot there. Do also so long, read other ppl's wan also eye pain....
 
among all the tags, your 70 Q&A past very fast...it came to an end so fast, i was still asking for me! :(
 
Damn 9 creative lah!!
Tabik!
 
Moon...Where got humsap? Your mind is Y jor. LOL

Fly darling...Make sure those dentures don't fall out when you laugh so hard. LOL

DomesticGoddess...welcome! Stay around for more humsap stuff.
Don't pretend you don't like ok. Hahaha!!!

Wuch...you did yours ah? Why nobody tag you geh? quickly go and do!

Samm...If a woman started this how? What are you gonna do to her cb? LOL

Leonard...you sadist! Peen tai! LOL

Inevitable...Belanja me kopi lah. Everytime get free entertainment how can?
 
yes! you take Minachi, I take tangkachi, we romp the weekend away!!!
 
Cocka Darling!!

How come you know I use dentures? Its great for giving blowjobs you know...removing the dentures that is and you suck with ur gums :P

buzz buzz
 
Check DNA la !
 
Wahhhh so revealing...not
 
Now i know u more! Wakakakakaaaa.... *in an evil grin*
 
I tot gang banging a nympho is community service.

Waulau. Tits are so big they have ears!!!!!


You gonna get me fired. I'm laughing so damn hard. Its okay. I hate this job anyway. ;)
 
applause!

the most humsup tag and funniest one!

LOL at nyonya's comment eh! haaa...

a very entertaining tag!
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
bahhhhhhh! ppl keep telling me that! but i have no problem sending to myself leh. and blogger also send me the comments ppl left on my blog. no problem leh. u sure u got the right one ah? '@yahoo.com' why? got love letter want to send to me ah? *raise raise eyebrow* kakakkaka
 
Ah Pek...got Bollywood mya quality wan anot? I want to take Aiswarya Rai got ah?

Fly darling...Ooo!!! The thoughts of it makes me tilt my table already! LOL
For maximum effect, can I suggest you use ice cubes too? LOL

Linpeh...Checked liao. Your DNA not same as mine. Yours traced back to dinosaur period.

Flyboy...Not revealing enough ah? Give me another 70 questions to do lah.

KyH...Hi there! thanks for dropping by. I'll come shit on your blog soon yeah! LOL

Simple Yank...I like your definition of community service. LOL.
Them knockers can double as airbags yeah?
Getting you sack? Great, let's start an online humsap business.

Car2....I shud have tag you instead. :(

Lenglui...Moong cha cha! Sort that out already hor? So misleading lah your email addy.
Ok, invitation to orgy is in your mailbox now.
 
Cocka Darling!!

Ice Cubes?? THat'll give me brain freeze..may I suggest Fisherman's friend's for the cooling effect :P

buzz buzz
 
So humsap!

No wonder when you dipping YCK in you latte got people at Stabaks watching you....

Sha La La La La...
 
If vegetables scream when you cut them, it can't be heard. But when you cut a live animal, its scream in agony can surely be heard.
 
you are damn funny!
 
this is so ayam
so kokokai :D
 
Fly darling....Listerine mint flavor also can. Haha! Or the latest tangerine better. *wink*

Plink...Err..I dipped the real yck at stabaks la. Uts not what you are thinking. LOL

Mickell...good to see you here again. yes, you can hear vegetables scream. You'll need ultra-high pitch decibels detection equipment. Do you know that plants talk to each other?

Hiao Auntie! ..Where have you been? Miss you!

Dr Jekyll...is dat good or bad?
 
ayam of coz is good lah?
u ever see bad ayam meh?
Lol
 
19) Do you snore?
Yes, yes!! I score twice last week, sometimes three if I’m lucky. Wait! Did you say score or snore?
... that was a good one.

I think Maria Sharapova is hotter ler... Kournikova... old news lor.
 
This is the most hilarious 70-answers tag i've read yet!!!

Dem good.
 
Hey, I recently added a news widget from www.widgetmate.com to my blog. It shows the latest news, and just took a copy and paste to implement. Might interest you too.
 
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