Nothing to Crow About

Since election is round the corner, Cocka also kena election fever liao.
So this post, Cocka is gonna hentam one Toyol guy claiming that Selangor can be compared with Kiasuland in terms of development, economy & quality of life.

MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!.............What a joke!

He said the ONLY things that Selangor is lagging behind were public transport, IT facilities and urban services.

Really? Are those the only areas? Pegi dah! I can write a book on this you know?

Hello? Aren’t you forgetting about safety too? Kiasuland hardly hear of snatch thieves, car-hijackers, Mat Rempits which we seem to be churning out more rapidly than anywhere else. Crime rates have skyrocketed over the last 4 years!

Their cops are squeaky clean while ours are still rotten to the core. Frankly, these days one can’t tell the robber from the copper.

Comparing Changi with KLIA?

Hello? People are still getting lost in KLIA. The farking signs are still very misleading.
Some international carriers are deliberately avoiding KL and landing in Bangkok or Singapore thanks to your exorbitant landing charges.

He added that both Selangor & Kiasuland have about 2 million foreign populations.
Oi! Kiasuland’s 2 million foreign populations comprises of professionals and skilled labour lah.
Selangor mya foreigner populations are made up of mostly of illegal Indons, Banglas, Nepalis, How to compare?

Toyol said that the state gomen will be putting in more effort into improving the service industry.

Cocka’s advice: Yeah, you can start with the banks. Kiasuland banks counters are fully manned during lunch time.
Ours? Lunch time only 1-2 counters open and all tellers go for lunch. And you are talking about being a financial hub? Chettiars' hub also kenot lah.

Here are 2 funny fellas with some election hits. Yep, Allan and Indy just love poking fun at the Bodowi administration..

Look, they even poke fun at our favourite karaoke song….

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To me, the greatest love of all this season is not measured by the bouquets of roses or the glitter on that diamond ring.

Its made of twigs, straws and dried leaves.....painstakingly weaved into a cosy home for his mate & offsprings.

flutter , flutter, weave weave weave .....

This incredibly amazing ‘labour of love’ started 4 days before the lunar new year outside my window.

He busied himself tirelessly, chirping cheerfully, shuttling to & fro gathering all the construction material as his impressed pregnant mate watched from a nearby perch.

Occasionally, there would be a gang of rowdy mynahs cackling loudly reminding the little fella of his intrusive flight path. This is where I play God and exercise divine intervention using my broom to scare them away.

Alas, today the nest is finally completed and her mate moved in.
This must be the best Valentine’s Day gift for her.

For those of you unattached tonight and no where to go …the 'love nests' in Chowkit are open til 12 midnight.

Enjoy the song....

Hahahahha!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day all!

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Yesterday Suitapui sent me a SMS;

“Hali busat sudah mali,
Beli nimau satu loli,
Satu tawun satu kali,
Wa mikin silap, wa veli soli
Itu ampau sini mali”

Cocka replied ;

Ini tawun, manyak kes-kes terjadi
Lori sama nimau kena hijack oleh mangkali
Sikalang lady luck pun tarak teman gua judi
Nampaknya angpow kena tunggu 1 tawun lagi

Gua pegi jamban tangan mesti ada cuci
Kalau tidak nanti mahjong tiles bau tahi
Gua memang shiok tengok amoi mya red undies,
Tapi mana tahu satu ah moi tarak pakai hali ini
Bilang undies merah dia sudah kasi cuci
Gua pun tersilap nampak dia mya puki

Gua pun tarak pannai main gin rummy
Sebab distracted oleh amoi pakai skirt-skirt mini
Bila mereka duduk, sengaja lipat-lipat kaki
maciam itu ‘Basic Instinct’ mya movie

Ahhh! mungkin masih ada satu cara judi lagi
Gua lipat kertas lambor 0-9 ke dalam tin besi
serta goncang itu lambor bila amoi buka kaki
Sudah dapat lambor , gua terus pegi beli 4-D

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Cocka wishes all you humsap, sampat, ting-tong, sot-sot tey, hiao hiao tey readers a Happy & Prosperous Year of the Rat!

As with all Chinese new years, the auspicious colour is red…so 4-D punters, mahjong kakis, gamblers etc, make sure you have your red undies on, yeah!

This year, the corset is back…thanks to CSL’s personal friend, so make sure you get one too. With all that binding and squeezing, even a hippo would look sexy, trust me!

For those of you, who find it hard to get your red undies from your usual outlet because of your odd sizes, (Suituapui are you reading this?)

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try the Reject Shop. LOL

Back to the pineapple tarts…