Nothing to Crow About

ZMM: “Bukan lah! Saya tak mau itu celaka mya Cocka comment saya ada spare tayar lah. Banyak malu lah……cepat tarik kuat lagi, Tuyam”
( No lah! I just don't want that blardy cocka commenting on my spare tyres again. It's embarassing......hurry, pull the cords harder, Tuyam)

(Ummmmphhh!!! Ma'am.....It's hard to bind it. I pull here the tyre sticks out from there, ....I pull there it sticks out from here)

ZMM: “haiyah!”


King’s Wife:
“Cocka commented on my cleavage he saw the blouse I wore to Ipoh. Hmmm….maybe I should wear another one of those Triumph super-duper Maximizer, uplifting, “making mountains out of molehills” bra. He would certainly bowl over when he sees me”

Actual: But I was to be disappointed….because the longkang was all covered up!

Ah May:
“LinPeh said to wear as little as possible. Jomel said better cover up or risk LinPeh talking to those boobs. Cocka said if I have it, I should flaunt it”
I think I’ll take Cocka’s advice.

Standing in front of the mirror, tossing her newly tinted hair, tucked in tummy, sticking out chest and practicing batting eyelids furiously to create sparks;
“Cocka said I got smiling eyes. Must set him on fire tonight”

Actual: Ah May is such a demure, sweet and shy girl in person….and pretty too. There is something in her captivating smile that would tame even the wildest maniac like Lin Peh. She mentioned about starting on her 4th decade, but believe me, she looks like she is only in her 20s ...no crow's feet, no saggy boobs (Lin Peh confirmed this)

I still find it hard to believe she actually wrote Chapter 11 of the Lin Dynasty. She must’ve been possessed then.



Siau Char Boh
“I am going to hiao-hiao with Seng Kor tonight. Since Jomel won’t be coming, I’ll have him all to myself. Wonder spring chicken can last how long hor? What happens if he leaves me high and wet? Never mind, if all else fails still got one old cock there”

Actual: SCB really has the ‘ass-ets’ to hiao hiao wan. I had the privilege to do a quick scan from top to toe when we bump into each other as she was walking to the loo. Boy! You should see her wiggle those love handles!


9393

Thinking to himself:” I must go late-late and make an impressive grand entrance. Wahh….Imagine I come around and everyone introducing themselves to me just like a VVIP saying, Ohh!!! Look! Here comes 9394….what an honor to meet you”

Actual: He came late all right, but he certainly had a hard time guessing who is who because no one introduced themselves. It was rather amusing observing his antics.


Seng Kor
Having a Man to penis heart to heart talk,
“You know, you’ve been with me all these years and I’ve never been with a woman.
Your best friend has always been my clasped hand around you.

But tonight, tonight…..I’m taking you to places you’ve never been. Doing things you’ve never done before. SCB is going to teach you a few tricks. So long virginity”

Actual: Don’t under-estimate this chap. He is quite well known in all the massage joints circles in town. Just walk in to any massage parlor and mention Seng Kor’s name. Chances are SCB look-a-likes are going to swarm you!


Lin Peh

Notorious! Loud mouth, full of profanities!

Actual: Notorious! Loud Mouth and Full of Profanities! ......and these are only the good points! Hahahahahhaaa!!!!!

Rojakz:
In my mind, I really thought this guy would look something like his profile pic. Having seen pictures of his son Lil’ Devil, I would imagine him to be of average built. ........But I was wrong! I was dead wrong!

Actual: Rojakz is L-A-R-G-E. .....H-U-G-E. ........H-U-M-O-N-G-O-U-S!
Geeez! The amount of lard he has, if they so decide to cremate him, he would burn for 3 days and 3 nights . Muahahahaha!!!!


GBYeow & KL Podcast
You guys are being spared from my comments this time around because I don’t know very much about you. In fact, I have not even been to your blogs, but rest assured, I will.

The next time, you won’t be so lucky. Hehe!

To everyone, thank you for a wonderful evening and filling it with so much laughter.
I certainly look forward to the next one. Actually, all of you are a wonderful lot. I am truly glad that we finally met. Thank you all!

Last nite at bout 9pm, I received SMS from Lin Peh:

LP: You check the blog already ah? Anyone posted our faces anot? If yes I'm going to bomb the fucker/fuckee house.

Cocka: No time to check yet. Just got back to JB. Don't worry, your face so fucked up, who dare to post them on their blogs? LOL

LP: Fuck You lah!

# posted by Cocka Doodle @ 7:17 PM