Nothing to Crow About

At the restaurant.....

Cocka: “Poison, I just snapped a pix of your bum when you were standing up there on the sofa.”

Poison: “Aiyah! Why you take from the rear? Looks flat lah. Take from the side baru can see the curvey-curvey mah”

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Cocka: “Errr......I also took a shot from the side wor. Still look damn flat also. See? Wakakakaka!!!”

After dinner, as we were walking out of the restaurant, the girls decided to go to the ‘ladies’ en masse. LB, Ah Tak and I must’ve waited for at least 30 minutes before they emerged again.

LB: “Waaa...why they take so long wan?”

Cocka: “you know lah..when the girls get together they tend to compare tits lah....boobs lah.....who got more hair on their chest la.......”

LB: “Oh , you mean like whose ones bigger lah.....whose ones more saggy lah?”

Cocka: “Precisely. So which one is your bet?”

LB: “What? Saggiest ah?”

Cocka: “Yeah. You reckon age has a role in it?”

LB:” Naw....it has to be size that make it sag”

I trust his opinion for this guy dresses women....his profession la.

Cocka: “Yeah I guess you’re right. Newton’s law prevails....gravitational pull. ...and if they run ala Baywatch style, don’t forget the Coriolis force may also have a part in throwing them off-tangent from their intended path.”

“Ah Tak! What’s your take?”

Ah Tak: “Big boobs ah?? Zhheng ah!!!”

At the Redbox Karaoke......

There was dancing....

Don’t cha wish your boyfriend is hot like me? Don’t cha? Don’t cha?

King’s wife number was so sad that it made Ah Tak cried........

Saturday morning....

Dim sum breakfast half awake and more doses of caffeine from Starbucks.

The 3 hardcore bloggers were at it again, while I decided to indulge and pamper myself with an hour and a half of Thai massage.

Late noon.....at Jomel’s home
Watching an episode on chimpazees featured on Animal Planet over Astro with Jomel’s daughter, Kelly. She was rather chatty and has an inquisitive mind, asking lots of questions.

“Uncle, why this monkey got no hair wan?” as she pointed out a sick chimp that had shed it’s fur.

“Oh! This one is a rebel. He went to join the skinheads! See...see that tattoo?”, uncle Cocka answered spontaneously.

Fortunately, there were no mating scenes or I’ll have to act blur and ask Jomel to explain.

A few minutes later......“Uncle, I want to drink Ribena.” Asked Kelly.

So, after pouring out the concentrate I asked her, “Ok, where do I fill up the water? Straight from the tap, yeah?. It’s ok wan....you got a super-duper water filter outside so whatever bacteria or dirt etc would have been filtered liao...it’s quite safe.....hehehe”

Much later......”Uncle, can you help me tie my hair? Come, come take the plastic container on the fridge for me. I want to choose the hair-band and the clips.”

Uncle Cocka: “Ok, what style do you want? Coconut tree ok ah? Or Pony tail? Or funky munky style?”

Who said I’m not good with kids??

Awww.....she is so adorable. Jomel, faiti faiti go get her a daddy lah.

Wait! Wait! Don’t go away! This is not a baby blog.

Saturday midnight show.....”Lakehouse”
This must’ve been one of the most boring romance movie I’ve ever seen.

Keanu Reeves can’t act for nuts. The script was a total failure. It certainly failed to grip my attention. In fact, half way thru the movie I was bored shitless and looked around the cinema for any liked-minded souls. The couple behind me was smooching passionately and furiously underneath a shawl, kicking the back of my chair occasionally amidst the moans and groans of orgasms.

Suddenly, it dawn upon me that if Swedish Erotica Inc was to make a porno out of this storyline, it could have been a blockbuster!

Imagine this...instead of exchanging mails Keanu Reeves sticks his dick into the letterbox....

Somewhere 2 years ahead of his time, Sandra Bullock saw the same dick sticking out of the letterbox and started giving him a blowjob. As she bends over to blow him, her horny pet dog humps her leg.....

The finale would be everyone having an orgy at the glass lakehouse while Reeves and Bullock are the only ones fully clothed, danced the night away.

Yes, yes I think I’ll contact them and sell them the idea.

# posted by Cocka Doodle @ 4:48 PM