Saturday, December 09, 2006

 

Will The Real Slim Santa Please Stand Up?

How you ever wonder why the jolly old elf always has difficulties fitting into clothes other than the silly looking red suit? Trouble coming down the chimney chutes?
Or wasting resources employing so many reindeers to pull his sleigh?

Ever wonder how he would look if he’s fit and trim, works out in a gym?




Would you prefer this?




Or This?













This pork chop??


















Or this hunk??













Enjoy the parody......


May I have your attention please,
May I have your attention please,
Will the real Slim Santa please stand up.
I repeat will the real Slim Santa please stand up.
We're gonna have a problem here.


You all act like you've never seen Santa before,
Toys all over your floor, who the hell ya think brought them?
It wasn't your drunk dad or your mother that whore,
It was me and now I'm skinny and I'll tell you the score.
Its the return of Christmas but not the jolly fat elf,
my ass got so big I couldn't wipe it myself.

My doctor said, "Santa you've never looked worse,
lose 200 pounds or your heart's gonna burst."
Everybody loved me big and fat ho-ho-ho,
Big ass Santa look at him walking around,

his belly like jelly, have some more eggnog.
They didn't give a *fuzz* if my arteries clogged,

So I said *fuzz* them and I joined a gym.
Started eating low-fat cookies and drinking milk that was skim.
I lost so much weight I can see my candy cane,
and Mrs. Clause is happy I can *fuzz* her again.
(Your name is on my list) x2,
and if your nice, not naughty I might give you a little gift.

But here's a message for you if your a big fat slob,
If your gut is in the way your girl won't bob on your knob.
You can't expect a hoe to gobble your goo,
if you just sit there eating twinkies,watching Scooby Doo.
If you ain't nothing but chubby,
no girl wants a fat hubby,

you'll endup working construction.
Your love life lies in ruins and destruction,
by the time your 30 you'll be asking Santa for liposuction.
But if your thin you'll get seduction,
underneath the mistletoe.
Sing the chorus and it goes!

I'm Slim Santa, yes I'm the real Kringle.
All you fly girls like my balls cause they jiggle,
so won't the Real Slim Santa please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up.

Cause I'm Slim Santa, yes I'm the Saint Nick.
All you other fat Santa's can suck my fat *fuzz*,
so won't the Real Slim Santa please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up.

Ho-Ho-Ho I guess theres a Slim Santa in all of us.
On Donner on Blitzen lets get the *fuzz* out of here!

WEESSSTTTSIDEEEEE (echoed)


X'Mas Songs dedication....

Seeing her pantyhose on display gives me erotic wild ideas. Fly would you like to join me “Walking round In Women underwear?”


Lyrics in my last year’s post here.

For Flyboy the nature lover here’s a song especially for you….


”Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire” Muahahahaa!!!!!
Poking the skewers thru their nose…..
Stay tuned for more....

Comments:
oh yeah, Santa's definitely cumming all over town!!!
 
this christmas u very hardworking in updating your blog hor, hor...
 
finally saw ur pigcher...the 1st santa...LOL
 
Are you the pork-chop or the hunk?
 
cocka, are you dressing up as pork chop this year?
 
repeating wat may cakap..
cocka, r u dressing as pork chop? :P
 
Thank you for the lacy underwear song and thank you for directing all the maah latt lows to my blog. I'll never thank you enough.
 
LB....Coming up next, Sleigh Ride!

Carcar....ya wor. Really getting into into the spirit of X'mas. Here are some chritmas carols you can sing too, yeah!

Ah Nel...tiu! That one is Simple American lah! LOL. No offence to SA!

KW...Neither, I think I prefer to be Frosty. Muahahaha!!!

May & Chen... I'll be taking the both of you on a sleigh ride on my next post. Be afraid!! Muahahaha!!

Titoki...Hah? Your traffic went up ? Let's see a picture of you in that pantyhose lah.
 
Cocka Darling!!

Definitely will do a duet with you on that song!!

Would you like to use my silk garters for that purpose?

buzz buzz
 
Makes me wanna don the red once more.
 
i hate angmohs. period.
 
ekkkkk, thrs where pork chops come from???? thk god organic me don eat those. errr, and y put my pic up thr? nvr gv royalty sommore, denggggg.
 
Gimme the hunk!
 
lols~ i was about to warn you that angel will come and tsunami-tise your blog with her drool~ apparently i am too late kekekekekke :P
 
Fly Darling...yes, it won't be complete without those lacy garters.
Don't forget those handcuffs. LOL

Jerry...red what? tongs ah? Welcome by the way. Hope you'll stick around longer, yeah!

Spinnee...What's your preference ah? Bollywood types or korean actor types ah? LOL

Samm...I thought that was the best shot of you with Santa. At least you broke tradition and did not sit on his lap. LOL

Angel...Hunky dory types attract you ah? My pork chops not sexciting meh?

a^Ben....Yeah, angel already shorted her keyboard from all the drool.
 
Of course Darling Cocka, how can I forget the handcuffs? do you want some whips also?!!!

Darling, I know what I want for my Christmas present, a new lap top, namely you, sitting on my lap while I dictate and you type what I write!!!! Of course, you're dressed in silky ladies undies!!!

buzzbuzz
 
got too used to the "cocka-lookalike" santa claus, the hunk version is an overkill...do you had foto and not pigcher of santa's gfs????

thank u in advance hor... ;)
 
Not all hum sup Santa clauses have washboard tummies and Brad Pitt's body.
 
LOL r u turning gay :P
 
What about the guys? No piao mei santa geh!!
 
wah cocka enjoying wit the piao mei
 
why not post all piaomeis wearing as santa in sexy sexy one? :P
 
Oooh..Fly you wild thang! You make my heart sing....you make everything...
While you are at it, don't forget the butt plugs. LOL

Leonard...Santa's g/fs? Santa's wife got lah! santarinas pictures will post later.

Mickell...Ya hor! So unlike me hor? LOL

Vad3r...I'm not. Are you?

Ace1...santarinas ah? wait lah! What's the hurry? It ain't Christmas yet.

Sasha... More like the piaomei enjoying with Cocka! Hahahaha!!!
It's hard being santa...we have to please all these piaomeis. *sigh*

Kenny...You another one! You post lah! preferably with a touch of rock!
 
*wavehandwavehand*

Teacher, teacher! What is *fuzz*?
 
WAKAKA...... cocka ,
apa pasal u bikin semua humsap SANTA ?
 
come back liao so free no blog meh? so free do wat? go starbucks do wat wor?;p
 
Merry Christmas
 
Jerry = Simple America
Something happened to blogger at home and with the beta that other name of mine shows up.

Finally read the comment to Ah Nel. I must protest. I'm Santa with the shades.
 
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!!

Glad to hear you house was not flooded by Santa's piss!!
 
Merry X'mas to you Santa Cocka!!! :)
 
Plink...For not knowing that word, please go stand at the corner until recess time. LOL

Dreamie...Mana ada humsap? Our gomen said must have sex education. I am contributing to society lah.

Winn lenglui...Go starbucks curi their mugs ...shhh!!! want 1?

Inevitable...Merry Christmas to you and your dear too!

Simple Yank....Hahaha!!! Yeah, now that you mentioned it, there's indeed a strong resemblance!

Ah Pek...Merry Christmas to you and Ah pek soh also!

Titoki...Merry Christmas to you and I pray that your dad will recover soon, yeah! Muaks!
 
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