Nothing to Crow About

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This hottie mama tagged me and demanded to know 6 weird facts about me.

Well, here goes…..

1) I have weird dreams every now and then.
Last night, I dreamt that this guy was canonized! Holy Cow! Mother of God!
Saint George Bush??

I also dreamt that Brad Pitt has a bad hair day….weird anot?

2) I truly love listening and singing songs with bastardized lyrics. Definitely one of my favorite past times. Used to sing them on Hash Nights over a beer frenzy. Yes.. Weird Al Yankovic tops them all!

3) Apart from sumo-wrestling that I follow religiously, I like mud-wrestling too. Used to watch the matches at a pub near Dieppe, Sembawang Singapore many moons ago before the authorities decided to shut it down. They claimed that it was indecent back then.

4) I don’t watch soccer. Weird mou? I get disgusted seeing footballers pretend to fall and agonize over trivial bumps. The players are over rated too. The supporters? Mainly ill-disciplined and unruly. Ok, flame me if you want, but that’s my opinion. Hahaha!

5) I was tailing this guy in JB last week. I didn’t know he is for real. Luckily didn't crash into him. So Darth is from kiasuland??

6) I wash and re-use my condoms. You say weird mou?

There Sasha! Done your tag already! And now....it's my pleasure to tag King's Wife because she's too lazy to update her post.

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Two Crocodiles were basking in the sun at the side of the Lake Gardens.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said................

I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me....we're the
same age.....

we were the same size as kids....... I just don't get it ?"

"Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?"

"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'Crock.

"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"

"Down the other side of the lake near the parking lot by the
Parliament House."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"

"Well, I crawl up under one of their cars and wait for one to
unlock the car door.

Then I jump out..... grab them by the leg..... shake the shit out
of them and eat 'em !"

"Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "that's where you're going wrong !

You're not getting any real nourishment...... !"

"You See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician,

there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase !"

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I was tagged by the mafia on this. When I refused to do it, I woke up next to a dead hamster....Arrrghhhh!!!!!
Ok, ok finally done. Please don't harm my pets anymore... LOL

1.Coke or Pepsi?
Royal Crown Cola. Anyone remember this?

2. KFC or McDonald’s?
A&W

3. Häagen-Dazs or Baskin-Robbins?
Errr…..Ice kacang

4. Coffee Bean or Starbucks?

Neither...Give me Restoran Big Cup anytime. That’s where these girls hang out. The restoran even has a sign inside that says “Titoki Not Allowed” Muahahaha!!!

Good work girls! Your push-up bras did wonders!

5. Nike or Adidas?.
Adidas of course….official sponsor for the All Blacks

Nike? Naw…They only sponsor 1 black.

6. Mercedes-Benz or BMW?

If you have seen my sleek Lada…you’d change your mind about Benz or Beemer.

Now pay attention to the nano tech, aero-dynamically designed , wind tunneled tested, strategically mounted for maximum visual effect spoiler, Ah Lian magnet. Check out the exhaust too. Every Ah Beng would kill to get one.

7.UK or U.S.?
Between Ulu Kelang and Ulu Selangor, I think I’ll go for the former. At least the seafood there is better, coconut flower wine……bak kut teh

8. Paris or Rome?
Paris is full of dog poo all over the pavement….blardy humsap Frenchmen that can’t leave MOHA alone ….

Rome….artistic capital with plenty of grafittis…pickpockets…gypsies….traces of LB’s

9. Céline Dion or Mariah Carey?
Neither! Give me Notorious MSG anytime! My current favorite is “Straight Out of Canton” playing at my blog now.

Wow! You guys are awesome! “Wok The Party” has hit over 2,600 downloads from my blog . Simply amazing! These 3 chinatown cooks turned rappers are the very same people who brought you Dimsum Girl.

Oops! Your question again? What what Drew Carey?

10. Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?
Neither…ok ok I can tolerate Christina but I can’t stand Britney’s voice. She sounds as if she’s singing in between blowjobs. And her dance moves are awful. Her love handles and belly are more suited for Bollywood flicks or QBB ghee commercials….geez!

11. Brad Pitt or David Beckham?
Beckham sounds like a queer whenever he speaks.
Some people says I look like Brad Pitt. LOL

*passes out the barf bags*

Or was it Pitbull??

12.Dad or mum?
Dad for his wisdom and mum for her cooking.

13. Movie or music?
Bollywood movies! Got romance, got tragic, got happiness, got fight scenes, got dancing, got singing, got sceneries....come to think of it, it’s the only movie worth watching. So many goodies packed in one.

14. Windows or Mac?
Sitting by the Windows chomping down a Mac…my ideal evening past time!

15. PC or lappie?
Give me the lappie dancer anytime.

I don’t have any use for a Police Constable unless dedicating limericks like this one to them;

There once a policeman from Clapham Junction,
Who professed that his tool couldn’t function
He deceived his poor wife
For the rest of his life
By using the length of his truncheon!